Tuesday, 2 December 2014

Thoughts on Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer

Before I begin, I think a brief history of me and Star Wars is in order. I never really watched Star Wars as a child. I saw the trailers, and thought they were awesome, but I never really watched any of the films until I grew up. And when I did, on the urging of my friends and my own curiosity, I started with the original trilogy, and then went to prequels. To be honest, the original looked to me like a generic fairy tale or fantasy adventure put in space. I loved the concept around the Force which appeared to be closer to a cult, then something everybody in the universe knows about in detail. This is probably what I hated the most in the prequels. That they tried to reduce fore to something measurable, explainable and quantifiable. They changed the Force from something mystical and not really at reach into something ordinary.

I saw this as Lucas's attempt to prove the existence of Force. Which in my mind is utterly ridiculous unto itself, redundant, and without any real purpose. We already knew the Force existed, we never needed to know what exactly is this Force or how exactly it works. Next thing that bothered me was how utterly ridiculous the Jedi order was. Qui-Gon Jinn is the only one sensible in the span of the whole three prequels. Everyone else is just terrible. Jedi are the greatest bunch of hypocrites in the whole Republic. Obi-Wan and Yoda created Darth Vader all by themselves. All Palpatine had to do after that was to console him, and tell him he will help him. But anyway, let us get to this trailer and what it brings us.

First things first. The title, Force Awakens. I was not aware that the Force ever entered the state of hibernation or went to sleep. I thought Force just was and that was it. Certain individuals are more attuned to it than others, and during the Empire not many had the chance to hone their aptitude, but I never thought this meant Force was in its deep slumber.

There is a scene in the desert with a black Stormtrooper. My first thought was that with Republic restored, Stormtroopers became regular soldiers and not clones any longer, but a friend told me that this was something done much earlier, as soon as the Clone Wars ended. Thus I have to conclude we saw a random Stormtrooper in the middle of a desert. If I was a betting man, I would say it is Tatooine. It is always Tatooine. The stormtrooper either felt the Force awaken, or something is chasing him. Probably that retarded design of a droid moving on a ball. I would be terrified of that one to death as well.

A short scene with more stormtroopers, those showing no emotions because they have helmets on their heads, and checking their weapons. And then we have a young woman on some sort of a vehicle in the middle of a desert. My bet is Tatooine, probably some farm, although I am still wondering what is it that they grow in that desert. I cannot believe growing cacti would be such a good business. But then again this is hive of most wretched scum and villainy, thus drugs could be an obvious answer.

Next we have some X-wing starfighters flying above the water surface of what looks a lot like Naboo. What can I say, It has water, mountains and probably some more annoying talking fish.

And then what seems to be the biggest problem in the whole film for the Internet at large. One Sith in a snowy forest with his brand new lightsabre. And the worst of all, this new lightsabre has a crossguard. Travesty, heresy, only a Sith would do something so radical. Kill it with fire!! I don't understand the people. My own reaction upon seeing it for the first time, was "finally, at least someone knows what he is doing". I mean Jedi and Sith are fighting with lightsabres for I do not know for how many thousands of years and they do not deviate even a little from their design. Bunch of zealots that would rather die than innovate on their weapon of choice.

To me, someone from Europe that is real travesty, and the unthinkable. Weapons evolve all the time, Swords in their prime went through so many changes to the new things and purposes, that when someone tells you Jedi had one design over thousands of years and never improved it, you would highly doubt it. Crossguard is bare minimum. And a functional crossguard would give you a great advantage over your opponent if you were a Jedi. But then again, we already established in the prequels that Jedi can be dumb and set in their ways as no other.

I know they have the Force, I know lasers are useless against them, but you would think that at least in the combat against another Sith or Jedi they would prepare themselves. You know, investing in some sort of basic defencive capabilities of their weapon so they do not lose an arm at first chance. You know, like Anakin, or Luke, and I am sure there are more. Simple crossguard prevents that. Its purpose is to protect the wielder's hands from the enemy blade. Because hands are the most exposed and easily hit part of the whole body in a melee fight.

I do agree that the design shown in the trailer is a bit retarded. Not because you could cut yourself, that is untrue. It is retarded because the crossguard has no real purpose such as it is. An enemy ligtsabre could easily hit at the centre of the crossguard and disable the whole sword, and still cut your hands. That is because the midsection is metal, and not made out of whatever is light in the lightsabre made of. This could be fixed. They could say it is made of the metal that lightsabre cannot cut, but then why not make the whole crossguard like that, you could not argue this would be more prudent. But then again we are talking about Sith weapons design, thus a design flaw is probably intentional so they never feel truly safe or at ease. I give them applause for idea, but not for execution.

And then at the end we have Millennium Falcon flying over the desert fighting or running from a pair of TIE Fighters. My guess is they are on Tatooine.

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